If you look up rules to a sex party you will find various information on the subject in online publications of Vogue, Huffington post, and even Cosmopolitan for crying out loud! Which can mean only one thing- sex parties are mainstream now. Polyamory, in general, is socially acceptable (admittedly in certain parts of the world). Not that that’s a bad thing. Sex parties are not only a place to live out your fantasies but also an exciting alternative to the usual Friday night out.
So you have been feeling frisky and want to satisfy your sexual appetite with something so decadent that you won’t be able to look at yourself in the mirror for at least a week. Or you have been begged into compliance by a friend to go with them for support. Whatever the circumstances may be you will be going to your first sex party and you know there is bound to be certain etiquette for such an event. Of course, there is and it’s a really good thing that you decided to do some research on the subject and are here right now, reading this article.
Consider your boundaries
Be aware of what you want to get out of the party. You don’t have to do anything you are not comfortable with. Before attending think about what you are willing to participate in. That way you will feel more comfortable when its time to get naked. Are you and your partner going to play with each other only or is it a free-for-all? If you are going alone you still should consider where (if anywhere) you draw the line.
“Sex parties are not only a place to live out your fantasies but also an exciting alternative to the usual Friday night out”
Sex party rules apply before you even leave your house. First things first- hygene. Imagine you are going on a date. On each date, there exists a potential possibility to have sex. That’s why we put more effort into looking nice. At a sex party you are basically going on a date but with many people at once. Make sure to take extra special care of your self before heading off to “play” with strangers. Consider getting a special outfit for the occasion. You can get a sexy costume you’ve always wanted to play in or you can get a beautiful lingerie set. Regardless of what you choose putting extra effort into your appearance will get you more excited about participating and will improve the overall atmosphere and your mood and confidence.
Have an open mind
Don’t set yourself up for negativity and think you won’t join in anything. Whether you play with your date, switch partners or decide to watch the show relax and enjoy the moment while it lasts. But since you are at a play party you might as well actually play… Attending a play party is having sex in public. If that is not your thing you can try to accept it, focus on the job at hand and have fun regardless.
The thought of attending your first sex party might be invoking feelings of awkwardness in you. If that is the case bringing a friend can relieve the pressure. Many play parties require for people to bring dates. If you feel like there is no one you could ask for such a favor remember that people share more interests than we think and that includes sexually as well. Most sex parties have some sort of area where guests can talk, have drinks and just casually lounge around if they feel like to. If you are feeling awkward hit up the common area, and have a chat to break the tension.
Ask before you play
Unlike drunken grinding in a club, you can’t just walk up to someone at a play party and put your hands on them. So what do you do? You ask for their permission. Asking for consent might sound unsexy to some people- like it would suck out the thrill of the moment, but when done the right way it can be part of the foreplay. Why does asking permission to touch someone have to be formal when it can be playful?
Speaking of consent, another thing you should be mentally prepared for is hearing “no”. It is a sex party, yes, but no one is obliged to have sex with you. Of course, as human beings, we are extremely adverse to rejection. The only way to not give a fuck about being rejected is to experience it again and again. The more you ask the more you will hear “yes” and “no” and the easier it gets to handle rejection. That is why putting yourself out there during a play party as much as possible will help you enjoy it more.
Forget the phone
I think this goes without saying but in today’s day and age maybe people need to be specifically reminded. A lot of parties have a strict no-phone rule. But even if there isn’t one you should put your phone away. People don’t’ respond well to the possibility of seeing themselves having sex all over the internet.
Check up on the specific rules
The party you are attending is most likely going to send you an invitation in some form and it will likely contain the rules for the specific event. If you are going visiting a club, then check the website for the house rules.
There is no reason not to enjoy yourself at a play party if you follow these straightforward rules. Simply treat others and yourself respectfully and you should be fine. Don’t forget that the respect continues after you have put your clothes back on. A lot of people’s reputation or carriers can be ruined if word spread about their private interests. So don’t openly share other attendees’ names when its over. Keep it private or you will quickly get uninvited from future parties.
Now go have fun!
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